The risks of spilling tea on social media groups warning women about dangerous men

Social media groups have popped up all over Australia to warn women about potentially dangerous men because dating sites don’t.

Maro Kovo, not her real name, is an admin for a Facebook page used by more than 16,000 women across Australia.

The page was created to help keep women safe. Having worked with victims of family and domestic violence, Ms Kovo knows too well the horrors some women face every day.

The statistics are confronting. Our Watch says two in five women in Australia have experienced violence since the age of 15. That is more than four million Australian women.

On average, one woman is killed by a current or former partner every nine days in Australia.

The Facebook group Sis Is This Your Man? Australia was created as a resource to warn women about potentially dangerous men who caused harm to other women because dating apps failed to vet people who used their sites.

The page is run by a team of women just like Ms Kovo who work in professions that are exposed to atrocious acts of violence men commit against women.

It’s not just their page; there are thousands of pages just like it across the globe and in every state and city in Australia.

Convicted perpetrators, criminals, pedophiles and so forth are all free to join popular dating apps connecting with women who have no idea about the dangers staring them in the face.

“This is why these groups exist, so we can help protect one another as much as we can,” Mr Kovo said.

“Men can be out on bail and the first thing they are on is dating apps.

“Men can be convicted for sexual assault, domestic violence, serious crimes and nothing stops them from joining these apps.”

The page focuses on helping women who are going through domestic violence or people who have partners who are serial cheaters or women who are are suspicious their partner is cheating.

“They might post something and say, ‘Is anyone talking to such and such’?” Ms Kovo said.

“The reason we do it is because when men sign up on Tinder or Bumble or Hinge or any other dating app out there, they do not have any warnings or precautions.

“They don’t have any information on people who have a history of domestic violence or pedophilia.”

Ms Kovo spoke about an incident where a man on Tinder was a convicted pedophile and their prospective partner asked if anyone had any information about him.

Another person posted a link to a newspaper article that identified the man and his crimes, much to the horror of the woman he was dating who had children.

“All these dating sites do not offer women protection, and women are desperate to protect themselves,” Ms Kovo said.

“We try our best to make sure the content is not used for revenge purposes.”

But they are not immune from people who intentionally seek revenge on ex-partners and post false information about them, putting themselves and others at risk of defamation.

“The pages we look after are not about bad dates or bad matches,” she said.

“It’s important to remember that dating in general is difficult and some people just don’t connect. No one should be judged for that. This is why we don’t just let anyone post information on someone.

“Every single post must first be screened and checked by the admin team to reduce the likelihood of revenge posts.”

While their page required people to provide proof of any accusations that were made before posts were published, some had fallen through the cracks.

Ms Kovo said men had reached out to them because false information had been posted about them.

“We do not brush it off,” she said.

“We had one guy whose ex was posting him on multiple social media sites. She posted him in our group asking if anyone had any info about him.

“She jumped in the comment section and accused him of a bunch of stuff.

“I commented that she would need proof if she wanted her comment to stay up, and someone he knew saw the post and sent it to him.

“He saw my name and reached out. He showed me he had a domestic violence restraining order out on the lady.

“We helped him get posts taken down in all different groups. It is not a man hating page like some people think it is.”

Ms Kovo also saw the horrific realities that some women lived with, with victims of domestic violence sharing vision from security cameras of their former partners stalking them or killing their pets.

Women send in “disturbing material” of sexual assaults, animal abuse, psychical abuse, psychological abuse, court documents and media coverage as proof of what they had experienced.

“This is how we confirm what to post and what not to post,” Ms Kovo said.

“Our team is made up of researchers in psychology, counsellors, family and domestic violence support workers and registered nurses.

“It is not the type of thing to run if you do not have experience, because it can be confronting. Even though I work with it daily, it does affect you.”

The risk of defamation from people posting false information or a person’s reputation being damaged is huge, which is why the administrators of this particular page ask for people to provide evidence of their claims.

They also work with lawyers to help them navigate the law and any legal risks to avoid being sued, but there are “rogue” sites that don’t.

“We have friends who are lawyers who help us if we have questions and try to run the group as legitimately as we can,” she said.

“It has to be safe and controlled. Nobody wants to hear what you think he looks like, that is not the point.”

University of Sydney Law School professor David Rolph said if you posted information about a person that was clearly identifiable and suggested they had engaged in infidelity or other misconduct, and that was untrue, then that exposed the person who posted the content to liability.

Mr Rolph said a High Court decision in Fairfax and Voller found that forum administrators and hosts of social media pages could be also be exposed to liability for content that was posted.

Third parties who left comments could also be liable, and hosts or administrators could be held liable for third-party comments as well.

“The two issues are who can be liable for defamatory content and what constitutes defamatory content,” Mr Rolph said.

“The best defence you can have for content is that it’s true, but the person who posts the content needs to demonstrate and prove the material is true.”

A case in Queensland resulted in a woman being sued because she called another person a pedophile on a Facebook community group.

University of Western Australia associate professor Marilyn Bloomberg said the court made a ruling that calling someone a pedophile in a social media group was defamatory and she was ordered to pay the plaintiff $279,000.

“We know that in this country in a Facebook group there can be successful defamation suits,” she said.

“We also know in this country that social media defamation is increasing by an incredible amount.

“If in these groups someone makes a comment that is untrue, and it also causes harm to that person’s reputation, there is a possibility for successful defamation.

“These claims are not to be laughed at; these claims are very much to be taken seriously because substantial amounts of money can be awarded.”

Ms Bloomberg said on the other hand if the claims that people made on these sites were true, then a defamation claim would not be successful.

“Truth is a defence. Even if the statement is true the person could start a lawsuit, but the lawsuit would not be successful,” she said.

“The evidence that these pages receive is probably not up to the same standard as the courts.

“Even though they might ask for evidence, it might not be the same way the courts would look at evidence.

“I would think these types of comments could really substantially harm some people’s reputations.”

Ms Bloomberg said everybody should be careful posting on social media because it does not have the vetting process that other media has.

“What you post can go to so many people so quickly, what you post in seconds can ruin a reputation that takes decades to create,” she said.

“There can be huge negative financial consequences. Be careful when posting.”

Ms Bloomberg said there had been talk of dating sites doing criminal record and other checks before people could join online.

“A researcher has found that people are now turning away from dating sites because of all the problems in terms of people lying about themselves,” she said.

“There is also this idea that you never need to settle because there is always someone better.

“The federal government is trying to get (dating sites) to self-regulate.

“But I do think we need to start thinking about just not letting anyone join a dating site because we also know the violence that has resulted from various people.

“It is one thing to lie about having a master’s degree, but it is another thing to join a dating site so you can find someone you can violently assault or worse.

“It is so easy to lie about who you are on social media and on dating apps, most people don’t just get rose coloured glasses but titanium steel-coloured glasses when it comes to dating, because so many people just want love.

“Wanting love should not be so challenging, but unfortunately it is.

“It is worth it in the end, but it can be brutal to get there.”

A Tinder spokesperson said safety was a huge factor for their organisation, and they took members’ safety seriously.

Over the past three years, the widely used dating site has introduced more than 20 safety features including share my date and identification verification.

“If a member contacts us to report any bad online or offline behaviour, our team carefully reviews the report and takes the necessary action to identify, stop and remove any inappropriate profile from our platform before they harm anyone else,” the spokesperson said.

“If a crime has been committed, we encourage members to report it to local law enforcement.

“Our dedicated team will cooperate with law enforcement if they are contacted directly.

“Additionally, we encourage our users to look for the ‘blue tick’, which indicates that the user’s profile has been verified by Tinder, via identification and photo verification.

“We also encourage our users to report any suspicious profiles.

“You can report anyone regardless of if you’ve matched with them or not and can select from a number of reasons, including a fake profile.”