‘Monster’ caught lurking on Tinder a day after being bailed from jail for violently attacking his ex

To those swiping right in search of love, the young dark-haired musician in search of a genuine long-term connection no doubt seemed like a catch.

What those women didn’t know is that less than 24 hours before creating his profile, the man had been behind bars awaiting trial for a string of serious domestic and family violence-related charges.

His former partner, who was subjected to months of violent abuse, including strangulation, was horrified to discover he was spending his first hours of freedom looking for a new victim.

“The morning after he was released from jail, a friend sent me a screenshot of a Tinder profile she came across, and my stomach instantly dropped,” Alexis* told news.com.au.

“He was using his nickname, so I knew it was him, but he was claiming to be 10 years younger than he actually is. That seemed predatory to me. I believe he was purposely pursuing young women who might be less likely to recognise red flags.

“He wrote about he’s looking for love, a long-term relationship, someone to spend quality time with. He came across as this wonderful guy. I was horrified. He has destroyed me and now he’s out there, trying to do it to someone else.”

Quick descent into horror

The woman, who can’t be named for legal reasons but has been given the pseudonym Alexis for the purpose of this story, met the man in a bar in southeast Queensland in mid-2023.

“He seemed nice,” she recalled. “He was really sweet, really affectionate. Things moved quickly.”

Alexis was subjected to what’s known as ‘love-bombing’ – an act of emotional manipulation deployed to create dependence, which often leads to physical abuse.

“He came on really strong. He said he loved me right away, said he’d never met anyone like me. I’d never experienced affection like that.

“I felt like he had to be my soulmate. We moved in together after a month. Two or three weeks after that, he attacked me for the first time.”

The new couple had been out at a friend’s celebration, before kicking on at their home with some other mates.

The man became aggressive. Alexis decided to go to bed, embarrassed that he was picking a fight in front of other people.

“He stayed up drinking and a few hours later, he burst in the bedroom and started screaming at me,” she said.

“He got on top of me and started strangling me. I managed to get away. I ran into the bathroom and locked the door. He broke the door down while I was on the phone to the police.”

The man was arrested and removed from the home and Alexis was granted an interim protection order.

Five hours later, he was at the front door pleading for forgiveness.

“I told him to go away but he started crying, said he had nothing to live for, and he was going to kill himself. I felt bad for him. I didn’t want him to die, obviously. I let him back in.”

For the next few months, their relationship was on and off, as he swung between intensely devoted and furiously violent.

She kicked him out a few times but he always came back, threatening self-harm and promising to change. He never did.

In January this year, during a conversation about his toxic behaviour, the man flew off the handle and started smashing furniture.

“I got up to try to stop him and he attacked me. He slammed me into a wall, dragged me by my hair, spat in my face … I told him I was calling the police and he fled.”

When police arrived a short time later, the concern on their face was evident as they took in the destruction inside.

The bruises covering her arms and legs were photographed.

The man was arrested, charged and held on remand while awaiting trial. At a committal hearing in September, his lawyer applied for bail, but prosecutors told Alexis not to worry.

“Because the charges are so serious, there was no way he was going to be bailed. It wasn’t going to happen. But it did. The court let him go free.

“I had no warning, no time to prepare a safety plan. I was terrified.”

Alexis was told she could apply to the court for the man to be fitted with an ankle monitor, but to do so her new home address would need to be read out in court, in front of him.

“And it turns out those ankle monitors don’t alert police in real time,” she said. “There’s a delay, so he could attack me and the reality is, there’s no-one coming. What’s the point?”

‘First thing he did’

While Alexis panicked about her safety and wellbeing, terrified to leave her home in case he was lurking outside, her abusive ex created a profile on the dating app Tinder and got busy swiping.

“A friend of mine who’s single and on all the apps came across him and couldn’t believe it. He hadn’t even been out for 24 hours. It was chilling.”

Used to the wheels of justice moving slowly, or barely moving at all, Alexis reached out to Tinder but wasn’t hopeful of a meaningful reply.

“They removed his profile straight away. I was amazed. They offered me helpful resources and they were really supportive. They acted in the space of a day.

“The contrast between a dating app’s response and how the courts had operated … it was shocking.”

While Alexis commends Tinder’s swift action, she doubts all dating services are as proactive and considerate.

And she worries that the lack of identification verification in the online dating space is leaving women at risk.

“If you want to sell something on eBay, you need to prove who you are. On dating apps, you can pretend to be anyone. You can pretend to be a decent guy when in reality you’re an abusive monster.

“In the real world, the systems designed to protect women don’t work. Online, women can’t even protect themselves. I believe that needs to change.”

Tinder has introduced ID verification for Australian users but the system is voluntary.

An uncertain terror

Alexis is nervously waiting for the court to set a trial date.

Authorities have told her the man is living a few kilometres away from her, meaning she’s in a state of terror each time she leaves the house.

“I’m scared about seeing him. I’m worried that he’s watching me. I’m in a state of anxiety knowing that he’s out free in the community.

“I’ve since learnt that two other women are the subjects of protection orders. What I’ve learnt about what he did to them … it’s very similar to my experience.

“I used to be very outgoing, very positive. I’m fearful. I don’t trust anyone now. I don’t want to be in a relationship again. I’m so deeply depressed.

“All the while, he’s free in the community. It doesn’t seem right.”

* Pseudonym given for legal reasons